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Not ONE match, says E-harmony. #shocking And, so it goes, another date for you Laie Hawaii love story for the ages
I dont have enough photos pretending to be what youre looking for on OK Cupid, Match seems supes old-school, and e-harmony wont have me. I dont really believe women like to hike, or be outdoors. Need phones ex now. I do believe women like to be photographed for social media doing things to impress you for attention. Id honestly rather have a Diet-Pepsi IV and a colostomy bag than get up in the middle of my show to go to the bathroom. Ive often considered getting a little-rascal just to get around the house. Im getting old enough to actually consider going to bed instead of driving in the rain. I do love reading womens personal ads though, I think, generally speaking, they make a decent argument for both sterilization and date rape. My idea of a Date Night is illegally downloaded porn and the perfect beef stew with our clothes on.
I was actually going to fill out an OK Cupid profile recently, but in looking at all the other women, I just cant compete. OKC asks? What cant you live without? Girl says; French Impressionist Art, I bullshit, you know what I cant live without? Me either. Anyone can live without French Impressionist Art, even the French. Oh, also, because I dont have several things that are required to have an online dating profile: Geek panties, gigantic hoop earrings, a selfie-stick, snap-chat, kik, threesomes, or a rescue dog.
Catch me while you can, boys.
Once I was on a date and the guy asked me if I had Tourettes (really) after I said something offensive, I told him that whatever had offended him was by far the least offensive thing I could come up with and things probably were only going to get worse as the night got longer and we should just go ahead and the game. Protip: If you ever or use intrigue seriously in a sentence, or try to woo me in a foreign language, I might throw up. FYI.
I suppose thats a little about me.
I say lets do this Notebook style and we will just write back and forth until one of us doesnt remember the other.
To quote (said no one ever), Batter Up.

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